I've recently lost a very important family member,
and although i constantly smile - and crack jokes; and pretend okay.
I'll honestly tell you here that i feel very empty.

My grandma is someone who looked after me when i was younger,
i honestly don't think I'd be who i am today if it wasn't for her.


She was an idol, an inspiration.
She was smart, strong and witty.
Amazing.

I love her, and although lately i've been too busy and selfish with my own life-
i miss her.

Knowing that i'll never see her again crushes me,
it was heart warming knowing that the last time she saw me she remembered who i was.

She's 98  now, i think.
And she normally has difficulties remembering who i am, or anybody for that matter.

I remember this one occasion, she didn't remember who i was..
i was so heartbroken,  i'm  not even kidding -
But she told me i was very pretty, and that i didn't look Asian at all.
If she saw me in the street she probably wouldn't recognize me.
Hah, it was probably my blonde hair colour though .. ohwell ..

She's gone to a better place now though,
i guess it makes me smile knowing that it's true.
It's safe up there, and i know she's happy with my grandpa.

She fed me rice when i was young haha, wiped my ass too ..


I love them and miss them dearly.
Rip Grandma, 20/08/10.

xo, your granddaguther Amy.